First blog post

As my  very first blog,I shall explain the pain I get to see in the society of now with my drugs beside me .. 


Endless you

Abused by your mental pictures

Erased from my routine to yours

Punctured from existence

Wishing and hoping

You never came along

Creating a world that does not exist

Fixing my emotions in my motion, but

Hammered in mind

Trying to fight but stuck

Locked in my cell

Numb to life

Numb to your presence

Forgetting than remembering

And finally disposing my rubbish

Not because I choose too but I have too

My life is worth a million dollars

To just hold onto a lie, while

Separation is better than you

My drugs better than you

My God better than you

Your entrance was your exit

I had my fair share of being heart broken and used, but am not expresing myself from my experience. I just want to let you know, using and abusing someone to face mental instability just because you broke them is not right. Let’s learn to be responsible because what we do or release to this life comes back. So stop saying everyone is the same when your not even trying to improve yourself.


Quiet like a deer, your footsteps approached me.

Thrust me and impelled

Your weight was a cusp to my efforts.

I begged for clemency as I screeched out, but

My clamor was no more while I tried tears dripped down…

Being in a state of adversity

Broken and dismantled me from existence

Left with blood flowing like an ocean inside me

Ruptured my life and dignity

I was unattached and non-respondent, but

Committed to popping a nerve over and over, while

Afflicted by my actions and desires

Feeling like life sentenced to death

Broke me over and over

The problems that had no stand

Prolonged its bleakness

Feeling pointless to my lust

Suicidal attempts as my routine

Uncontrollable flashbacks

Numbness and lost

Drained as a plantation with no growth

Watershed of my dignity vessels

Stoned and crucified with assaults.

To my second friend that was raped. It did hurt but not Comapred to what you are going through, and recently on news my heart was broken when I heard a guy raped a four year old girl and cut her into pieces. LETS STOP RAPE.!!







Defined by my addictions

While confined in my life results

I was jailed in my mental intuitions

Created by my illusions

Lost me by my dignity

Lost me through psychological damage

Greed as my financial highness

Separated and destructed me from the world

Indulged by my weakness

Anxiety and depression later hit

Rendered by emotions

But as a page and no longer chapter

While psychosis by day and night

With no movement instability

Disconnected my desires

As flashbacks begun to hit

I wished never to exist

I desired in welding the knife

What if I stopped, who would care??

I was a long gone soul!!

We all have a place that puts us at our worst sometimes, but giving up is a liability to your life and health. Just keep fighting and fighting.



Covered to the depth of my heart

Knowing a lot but not myself

Why Thirty or Forty skins

As thick as an ox’s or bear’s

Strong in flesh but stronger in spirits

Left in so many thoughts;

Your skin is not a paper

Do not cut it…!

Your face is not a mask

Do not cover it…!

Your size is not a book

Do not judge it…!

Your life is not a film

Do not end it yet…!

You are beautiful behind it

Amazing and unique

Tomorrow is a new day

No matter what you think or feel

Someone loves you

Just in case you did not know;

You are alive for a reason

You are stronger than you think

You are going to get through it

Do not give up

Trying is not the last race

It is just the begin of the journey

Do not look back just the mirror

That’s where the competition starts

And that’s where you make your life

Guys kindly give my book a review. Link below;THE ENDING GENERATION


Procrastination as my perfectionist

Hoping or wishing;

There is still time or

Maybe just next time

Become what I was living for

But it was too late

As I left my perception to’

It is a long-term future

Just as its short-term thinking

While the motion did not change

So I gave up on;


Negative self-talk

Criticizing others

Pressurizing people

And the fear of failure while

Expecting perfection

Was the biggest lie

Living to be recreated in this world 🌏





This is home to my perception

With what have had to encounter alone

I wake up executed from everyone

Looking to be alone and deserted.

Weak as relicense to my DNA

Wanting no energy from the existence

Emotionally linked to;

Disappointments and pain

Trying to recollect myself to feel again

But every trial puts me through hell

Facing a world, I do not want to picture

It is like am alive but mentally dead

Am receding each day

Am falling into my past than the present

Today I feel;



Like I do not matter

Not worth of love


Never mind I feel like this daily

It is like am fine when shuttered

Thanatophobia as my weakness

Trying to end the voices in my head

It sucks to be in my brain

Because of the voices volumes increases

Close to giving up…

The voices talk much than myself

Someday in life we encounter or experienced very intense lifestyle that most times. Create so much pain to our lives and the only certain mental picture is to end our existence. But remember you can control your thoughts and what you want to feel. Don’t let it define you but define your purpose to this life.

Would you

Would you rescue me ×3

When am lost

When am abandoned

When am abused

Through my creation

Just as your love rescued me

But lent me a different idea

A choice, chance and change

And propably a view in each expression

With a different verse

But the same ending

Challenged my mindset 🌬

But in love with the opportunites I created

They left me sheltered

Compared to the days I felt like an orphan

Or like trash

I looked for you

And you healed me

Answered me

And gave me another chance to life

Suicide was like meditation

Pills were like a meal

Pulling the trigger was an expression

It got so dark like a disease

But you recollected me from my pain

Gave me a home.

A foundation

A purpose

And a life to value

I was the silent listener to my life

Not interested in the gossip

But the inner voices that

Kept me going and balanced

Created ; Dopamine, oxycotin and serotonin

Fighting this life will never be easy

Finding a solution will be challenging

Finding a route too

But what’s your purpose in your existence

If it gets hard would you give up

What about when

The road redirects you

Just change the way

There is no map to success



Am jealous when you are not around

Deserted when I think of you

And lost when not close to me

The epochal of my day

Not only that

But the connection that we have submerged

To my perception has left

Wanting you in ways that loose me

In ways that destruct me

In ways that destroy me

And ways that mislead me

As we call it love

But infatuation was the right sentiment

That pulled me back

When I push forward

That pulled me back

When I tried to be myself

That left me experiencing

Unwanted destinations

Rather the demons you left possed to me

Which left me attuenuate

But I begun a new chapter

To connected the burnt candles

Sometimes we are captured with what’s not right for us. We end up being needy or desperate to someone who does acknowledge or value us. We push so much or fight when clearly we are in darkness. Do not let a man or a woman define you. Be responsible to your actions. Don’t let them push you out of your judgment. Love is not a crime but it needs a gentleman and a lady.